Why are there so few trained deaf filmmakers?

September 23, 2008

Those who say it can't be done are usually interrupted by others doing it. -Joel A. Barker.

I have been getting email requests from deaf filmmakers who want to work with me, and have brought a few on board. I encourage others to keep working and learning because the world needs you, your stories and your unique vision!

When it came time to hire crew for SEE WHAT I’M SAYING, there was only one professional deaf cinematographer - Wayne Betts, and he was pretty booked. Why couldn’t I find anyone else? [Note: I have found a few others since production began, and am happy to see deaf film festivals starting to pop up all over the world.]

It’s a tough business for everyone – actors, directors, writers and producers – and perhaps it is even harder if you’re deaf. But it is not impossible. The ones who succeed have a few things going for them. Since I get emailed for advice, here is my list of suggestions on how to succeed in this crazy business:

1. Get some training. Research film/acting/writing programs and schools and go!

2. Be aggressive. Go out and interview for the job. Any job you feel qualified for. Show you are confident, skilled and can bring a fresh perspective to the project. Don't let the word "no" stop you from trying again.

3. Don’t limit yourself to deaf projects. You will learn by pushing your boundaries and working outside of your comfort zone.

4. Don’t be shy to ask for favors. If you can’t afford an interpreter, there are plenty of interpreting students who would love the practice to accompany you to interviews, auditions and even on the job. Practice your interview or audition beforehand. The more prepared you are, the better.

5. Don’t be lazy. The successful writers I know practice their craft 10+ hours a day almost every day. If you work, take care of kids and have other responsibilities, you can still practice your craft with a little discipline. I know some parents who get up at 4:00 AM to write before their kids go to school. It all depends on how much you want it. There is no such thing as can’t!

6. Educate yourself. There are so many great DVD’s about directing, editing, acting and filmmaking out there. Try to visit film sets and rehearsals to watch how professionals work. Not many people are going to just invite you. You have to network, create relationships and be persistent. And yes, all of this takes time and a lot of work.

7. Learn how to be a producer. This is a tough business for everyone, filled with rejections, frustrations and barriers. Those who make it only see creativity, persistence and opportunity. Start creating your own projects - short films that you can post on YouTube. If they are good, you will find your audience.

8. Make it up as you go along. There is no one path to success - you just have to find what works best for you. Although other people's stories may inspire and perhaps give you ideas, each person's journey is unique. Ask yourself what skills you have, what skills you want to learn and how you can realistically create projects you envision.

9. Think positive. We all have obstacles and challenges, but the key is finding solutions and strategies. People like being around positive people, and are happy to help out if they have fun.

10. Remember that it is the journey, not the destination. If you don't enjoy the journey, it isn't worth it. Find a path that makes you happy and you will find joy and fulfillment in the work.

Fan letter and "Audism" lyrics by Dave Showers

I am so flattered that I am already receiving some fan mail and stories by people finding me through our online trailer for the film and through great groups like D-Pan helping me spread the word about the film.

Here is part of an email and song lyrics that were sent to me by Dave Showers, a deaf musician in Indiana who is on a journey.

------------------------

hello,

i want to introduce myself to you. i have visited the d-pan website a couple of times and last night was the first time that i saw the clip,"see what i'm saying". it really captured my eyes therefore i kept watching it over and over again! TL was the top subject in the clip! not because she's beautiful but because i can relate to her with the hearing loss and the music. i knew i wasnt alone.

my name is dave showers and i am from noblesville, indiana.i am 25 years old and i graduated at the indiana deaf school in 2003. i was born in san diego, califorina august 23rd 1983 and i was born hearing. after i was born, i had a breathing problem because my lungs were too small and the doctor had to put oxygen on me to keep me alive. eventually, my parents found that i had a hearing loss because i could not hear them when they called my name and they took me to the doctor and the doctor said that my eardrum was damaged from the oxygen and i had to wear it for a few months. it was the only way to keep me alive or else i would have died. i was still able to hear but not 100% and thats how i became hard of hearing.

all my life i grew up having problems because of my hearing loss. i took speech class when i was probably 5 or 6 years old. i had to learn how to talk and learn to hear with the hearing aids. i moved to many different states because of my dad's job and because i got kicked out of the school for misbehaving. i couldnt fit in with the students at the public school or at the deaf school because i was different from all of them. hearing people mocked me because of my voice sounded different and i could not pronounce some words right. just when i thought i talked normal but it turned out that i sounded odd. deaf people mocked me because im not deaf and that i can talk and hear. not only that, they also made racist remarks because im part mexican and part white. i suffered a lot and i pretty much was in a cage in my own world. i went counseling very often to work on my issues. i had very low self esteem and i would isolate myself from everybody. sometimes, i would detest myself for being deaf because it really put a lot of pressure on me and i couldnt find my own identity. i would pretend that im not deaf or hard of hearing and i tried to convinced myself that im hearing but they could see that im hard of hearing by reading lips and the way i talk. there was no way i was able to deny it. its all there.

when i was growing up, i was into music at the heart and still am to this very day. it became a part of my life and its also from my mom's side heritage. i have cousins and aunts and my mom and my sister that sings and plays instruments. i was into different music and my sister used to play the piano. i didn't play an instrument or write lyrics at the time. i was just a fan enjoying the sound of the music.

i was still having issues dealing with my hearing loss because im living in the real world. i had problems at work because people got irriated by me and didnt want to communicate with me. they yelled at me because i couldnt hear or couldnt understand what they were saying. from there, i decided not to talk anymore out in public so i started writing on papers whenever i go to places. it was complicated because i was trying to accept who i am. i was always talking only to my family and some people that i trust and i was always writing on papers and signing to my deaf friends. some hearing people mocked me because my voice sounded odd and it made me very angry that i lose my confidence and i felt that i have no faith or there's no hope for my future. i just went back to the cage and isolated myself from everybody again. i was still in doubt and it made me realized that i might not be able to sing because my voice is not normal than i thought it was. in my heart, i wasnt going to give that up because music is still my passion and its my life. it has been with me since i was a kid. i still want to form a band and i am not sure if it has chosen me because for me to find out, i have to make it happen. i dont know where my path is right now though.

i have talents bottled up inside of me. i dont want it go to go waste and i dont want the opportunities to pass because i still have connections with some of the bands. i want to do something thats all about passion than money. at the same time, bands have to make money because they have bills to pay. its my dream to travel the world and see different people,different culture and different environments.

when i found out about TL last night, i jumped out of my chair thinking if she can do it then i can do it and the fact that she and i have so much in common. our life is the same story but a different chapters. i listened to her music on myspace and i was impressed. i kept wondering how did she do it, how did she formed her own band.

i also like the beetoven's nightmare. the dude is insane on the drums!

i refuse to give up my dreams and my goals. i know theres hope for me and i want to do some thing with my life than be stuck working at meijer for the rest of my life. thats when i had to contact you and asked you to have TL contact me. i am getting old now and its not too late if i get help and get inspired right away. i just cant do it alone without someone supporting me. i want to bring my music and my story to life. its the matter of time and age.

i have to stop now but i could go on. talk to you soon.

dave showers
---------------------------

I am hoping others read his lyrics and see that they are not alone. His lyrics are posted here with permission:

[NOTE: Audism is a term used to describe discrimination or stereotypes against deaf or hard of hearing people, for example by assuming that the cultural ways of hearing people are preferable or superior to those of deaf or signing culture, or that deaf people are somehow less capable than hearing people. It also can be used to describe the opposite, deaf people who scorn those with hearing.]

"Audism" 8/29/08

I lived long enough to be
I still don't know who I am
I can never be who I never was
I'm tired of hearing the dead
When there's only a shadow

There's no reason to sign
But my voice is eerie
They can still see who I am
There's no walls to deny myself

Don't repeat another word cause
I'm afraid I'll be another mistake
No one can repair who I never was
It was never a miracle

They rejected me all my life
Cause I'm not one of them
I didn't chose to live this way
Don't say I'm not a mistake
Cause god can't take it back

I serve no purpose but death
Will not come for my soul
Its hard to believe in myself
Faith has given up my confidence
All my goals are a dead dreams
my hope will die with me

The world has rejected me
I can't find myself anymore
I will never be born again
I refused to accept who I am not
I have no sympathy for me

I don't want to know who I am
Cause I don't know who I am anymore
I don't want to know who I am
Cause I don't know who I am anymore
I don't want to know who I am
Cause I don't know who I am anymore

BUT I'M STILL ALIVE!
Dave showers

"Everybody else has touch the world
I have seen it with my eyes
I can only touch it in my dream
My life is out there somewhere
Not enough money to get me everywhere
But my talent will get me there someday"
D.S.

Hip Guy - Robert has a fan

I love my sound supervisor. Joe Milner at Puget sound isn't just one of the most talented sound editors and mixers around, he just happens to be one of the coolest people I have met this year.

Joe sends me fun emails that always seem to make my day. All of the post production people loved the subjects of the film, and would often comment about various entertainers. My colorist loved hearing stories about Bob, one consultant couldn't get enough of CJ, and TL always seems to have fans. My favorite comment about Robert, the Deaf Man of 1,000 Faces came from our Foley team that Joe was working with. I always knew Robert was an extremely cool, hip guy, but this came from a pro who has worked on hundreds of films.

From Joe Milner, Sound Supervisor 07/30/08

OK, Robert will like this one:

I just got the foley back from the Foley stage, and started importing the
tracks into my mixing sessions. Like a sound effect, the individual files
are named for what they are, sometimes at a very basic, almost childlike
level, ie: "Red shirt FS" (footsteps), "Guy on right", Old Man on left" etc.

Robert however, is referred to as " Hip Guy". So, we've got several cues
named "Hip Guy FS" , "Hip Guy Backpack", etc.

I just thought that Robert might like to know, that at a purely "instant
gut-reaction" level, he is thought of as "hip".

:)

My favorite performer - trick question

December 11, 2007

As I finally sit down to review the 3,000+ photos of Chris Voelker’s photo shoot, I find it impossible to narrow it down. I think on the question that I am often asked: Who is my favorite? My response is usually “That is like asking me to choose whom my favorite child is. Very Sophie’s Choice.” All four are equally important to this documentary, like four table legs that are needed to support a table. If any of the legs are missing, the table goes lopsided. I actually think I have a better answer below. There are favorite moments of each that I enjoy the most:

I think I like interviewing TL the most – I just turn on the camera and she can talk for an hour, opening up, crying, laughing, spilling her guts – all unprompted, candid and honest.

I like filming CJ’s shows the most – watching the audiences laugh so hard that they cry. I love when I film him discovering something on stage that is a comedic accident, making the audience laugh all over again.

I like catching Bob when he isn’t aware that he is being filmed. He is so proud of his show, his work, and filming his delight in telling anyone who will listen is just a joy.

And I like following Robert the best – walking through every day life as a prankster. I think I probably burned the most tape on Robert because when he was around I learned early not to turn the camera off since he is constantly jesting, impulsively joking around. Early on I missed some of the best moments while waiting for a meeting to begin or walking down the street and by the time I was rolling the moment was over. Luckily for me there were still months left to go and hundreds of moments of Robert pretending to walk into poles, scaring people, hiding in public spaces while he played cops and robbers and countless other hijinks. I don’t think I could ever get tired of filming Robert.

There were dozens of other entertainers I filmed, not knowing at the beginning who would fit into the film the best or have performances planned for this year. I was seriously torn that some of the best interviews didn't make it into the final film because there wasn't enough hours to show everything. Luckily we will have a great DVD extras section where I can show many of these highlights of some of my favorite performers:

Shoshannah Stern - one of the greatest interviews and most inspirational entertainers ever. Not only does she seem to have everything going for her, but I was surprised by how NICE she is. Sho is extremely genuine and down to earth. She is a trailblazer and a star in my book, and I would be lucky to cast her in future films.

Michelle Banks - she made me cry during her interview. Michelle is so passionate, and cares so deeply about motivating others - especially kids - to be their personal best. Michelle could be the next Oprah - or anything else this powerhouse actress wishes to become.

Evelyn Glennie - Evelyn was so generous to allow a full interview and for us to film her performance at UCLA. She is not only a brilliantly gifted musician, but charming and insightful.

Bernard Bragg - the father of Deaf theater. Bernard kicked to door open for just about every performer out there by being one of the co-founders of the National Theater of the Deaf, and blazing paths after studying with Marcel Marceau. To film such a legend was an honor. His friends know all of BB's famous stories which he regales in telling, but now they are recorded for generations to come.

John Maucere - John was so generous to allow me to film him during one of the busiest times of his life as the first cruise director aboard the Deaf Freedom Cruise. He not only entertained 4,000 deaf passengers for a week, but juggled dozens of shows while directing an ensemble of 16 deaf performers as part of his Deafywood production. Through it all he remained calm, humble and maintained a sense of humor. Did I mention his impression of Jay Leno as his deaf brother John Leno is pretty spectacular?

Alan "SPO" Schwartz - I love SPO's story about his nickname, an acronym for "Signed Performace Only." SPO was one of the first to share his honest convictions without censoring himself. Knowing that he was sharing some potential controversial topics, his point of view and opinions are a unique insight. I have so much gratitude for SPO taking the risk to open up on camera and trusting me with his stories.

Max "Max-i-mime" Fomitchev - a good deal of Max's interview made it into the final film. He is not only an extraordinarily talented performer, but has an incredible personal story. Being raised in Russia, Max lives in Canada and was a performer with Beethoven's Nightmare. My only risk is that Max has a way of stealing the show - a risk I am very happy to take to share his talents with the world.

Thoughts of highlights and challenges of filming

October 9, 2007

This is hard. I always knew producing this feature film would be difficult. But the driving motivation to tell my subjects' stories outweighed all of the challenges along the way. There were many highlights and challenges along the way. Here are just a few:

The highlights so far:

• Discovering filming our entertainers through windows –starting with Bob’s house the first night Ed arrived. The lighting looked beautiful – and matched with photographer Chris Voelker’s window frame idea for the publicity shots. [Note: this idea was dropped in the final film, but a few hundred teaser postcards were handed out with this original concept.]
  

• Beethoven’s Nightmare – watching an audience member's face in sheer glee flicker in the stage lights, then realizing he was deaf blind. I saw how much he enjoyed TL's performance and pulled her over after her set. TL's hair for the show was crazy wild - with pipes, feathers, tubes and dreds tied in all over her head. She allowed the audience member to touch her hair, and he gave me one of the most memorable interviews of the evening.

• Watching several hundred people from Kansas sign up on my mailing list after one motivated interpreter found the promo on YouTube, becoming a Team Leader and sending out the email to bunches of people.

Challenges

OK, it hasn't been easy. Things you can't even begin the prepare for pop up to make an already difficult job even more challenging. Here were some of my more difficult moments:

• My grant writer quitting because it was "too hard," my camera being stepped on and breaking requiring a frantic drive to get it repaired two hours away and my second cameraman spraining his ankle on someone else’s set and having to cancel the next day's shoot. All of this is challenging, but the fact that it all happened within 24 hours of the largest shoot of the production the day before Beethoven Nightmare was filmed performing at the El Rey.

• The disappointment of canceled performances and rejection, although many of the performers' heartbreaking moments that comes with being in the competitive entertainment business was captured in the documentary.
  

• Everyone we filmed was so incredibly cooperative and supportive. Everyone except for a few hearing people, which makes me happy to be submerged into Deaf culture at the moment. Here are a few of my Michael Moore moments when I was almost shut down:

-Philadelphia subway - they threatened to take our cameras away;
-NYC subway - they threatened to take our tapes;
-A less than thrilled individual who was filmed picking a fight with one of our subjects;
-Attempts of being kicked out of one event before the show by an unhappy stage manager (luckily my subjects fought to keep me there. Even luckier, every other event was happy to have us there.)

The list of both of the highlights and challenges is even longer - much of which will be discussed in upcoming Q&A sessions after screenings.

June 1, 2007

I have been so deliriously busy with post ON THE LOT fallout and pre Deaf Entertainers documentary preparation that I miss my flight to Philadelphia. I miss my flight by 12 hours because I misread my flight as 9PM instead of 9AM. Luckily I get on the 10:30 PM on standby. One of my main subjects of the documentary and friend Robert DeMayo has been sleeping at the airport in Philadelphia waiting for me because he is currently homeless. He played the comedic lead during our yearlong tour together in the National Theatre of the Deaf’s production of “An Italian Straw Hat.” Robert is one of the funniest, most talented actors I have ever seen and one of the countries top translators of English to ASL. He will be teaching at Juilliard next week, training Broadway interpreters how to better translate theatre into sign language. The irony of his situation brought me here with a borrowed camera. Robert recently played the character of a homeless man in a movie before there was a communication meltdown with his former landlord in his real life when his building was sold. Money is not the issue: his paperwork somehow states that he was evicted, and the lack of a good referral has been preventing him from getting a new apartment.

Robert texts me back after learning of my delay and asks me to steal an airplane pillow for him. I choke back emotion upon reading this. On board we sit on the tarmac for 20 minutes. The pilot explains that we have a technical difficulty but we are receiving top care to fix it since we are a lifesaving flight. I wondered how they knew I was headed out to film Robert to try to help him. The pilot explains that we are carrying an organ on board for a transplant back in Philadelphia and time is of the essence. I choke back more emotion.

I land and Robert looks tired but good. Somehow he is wearing clean clothes and looks no worse for the wear than my fellow red-eyed passengers. To my surprise, he has borrowed a car for my arrival – part of the Philly Car Share program where you can rent a car by the hour.

Our first stop is storage – one of Robert’s daily rituals. He goes to change clothes and grab necessities. He is getting a larger storage locker today and I alternate between filming him move all of his belongings down vacant aisles and helping. It is a dirty, sweaty job and Robert’s hip is bothering him since he had a hip replacement a few years ago. But somehow he manages to joke around, leaping from corners to startle me and racing the storage cart. We hurry to his next stop where he prepares for his weekly workshop. Robert teaches an AIDS awareness workshop once a week to deaf men for the CCPS in the back room of a local gay bar. Robert’s personality is such as to have fun even in the direst of situations.

We race back to drop the car off so that he isn’t charged an extra hour for being late. Robert turns this manic drive back into a video game. My past experience with deaf drivers is that no matter how they drive they are 100 times safer than hearing drivers because of their bionic vision and reflexes. We are 15 minutes late and Robert crosses his fingers that he isn’t penalized.

Local filmmaker Chad Jenkins arrives to help me film the evening. I hesitantly ask the men in the workshop if they mind being filmed for the documentary, fully expecting for them to say no. They surprise me and are not only open to being filmed but enthusiastic that I share their experiences with others. So a lively back room game of “Taboo” is played out in sign language. My cameraman could barely contain himself along with participants’ hearty laughter as they acted out various vocabulary words. After the games they went through the list of words discussing safe sex and current medical information.

The workshop ended and we moved into the Karaoke section of the bar. Robert once again became the star of the evening as he got up to sing 3 songs –following along in perfect rhythm to the monitor’s bouncing ball. I have an odd fondness for Robert’s singing. During the last song he puts the microphone away, grabs three of his deaf friends to be his backup dancers and energetically signs the song while his buddies followed the pounding rhythm. For a moment there was nothing but Robert and the swirling disco lights. No hard park benches, no cops hitting his legs while gesturing for him to move on and no legal battles with landlords. Just Robert being Robert. When I ask him what he will do tomorrow, he licks his finger and sticks it into the air – a simple sign for “whatever the wind blows my way.”